You MAY Kiss The Bride

Hello friends! How are you guys doing? Fine, right? Oh, great! I knew the answer even before asking. Now I’m wondering; Is there another answer to ‘how are you?’, apart from ‘fine’. I mean, when people ask it, any answer apart from ‘fine’, and you would have failed if it were a test. That’s what they teach you in school from a very tender age. I can still remember being taught to respond “fine, thank you”. But hey, I know you guys are fine, and you are welcome.

Admit it, at one point in time in your life, you have thought about the big day, your wedding day! Well, really, if you do think about the great day and fantasize about it, you are not alone! Many of us do. Us? *scratching my head* YES, even you! A huge percentage of girls have reserved that day as their most memorable day ever!, And are eagerly awaiting that day. For the guys, its generally mixed feelings, especially when the guy ‘never too hammer like that’. Hey, somebody gotta pay for all the partying. That’s not to mention the cost of bridal traditional rites and the bride price proper, especially if she’s an Igbo girl. *hides under my bed*.

But seriously, one state in the south east is trying to pass a law to harmonize bride price and make it more affordable for all and sundry. Their reason? They complained about the rising number of single ladies in the state, and have attributed same to the high cost of bride price in the state. For the sake of many of my guys out there, I pray that law sees day light. There will be an unprecedented influx of men into the state. Trust naija guys nah.  

Anyway, until recently, I have not attended a lot of weddings; I can even count with my fingers. The psychic me can hear you shouting “you’ve been missing a lot!” and I agree. Right now, just send me your IV, and you’ll see me there!

I was at my cousin’s wedding recently, a very beautiful wedding, very normal wedding, UNTIL it got to that interesting part of the ceremony when the priest said “you may now kiss the bride”. I stretched and positioned myself very well to witness that couple display their eh eh eh… well, you know what I mean. My elder brother sitting with me took a vantage position too to catch the action. Then, this handsome groom looked into his bride’s eyes……, she flashed a gorgeous smile….., he approached her…., she drew closer too…. Then, then at that particular point…., with their eyes still locked to each other’s eyes…, then the groom spread his arms…, she spread hers too….and they hugged!

That was a first for me, I don’t know if it’s because I’ve not attended so many weddings like I mentioned, but that? That was really something! An argument immediately ensued inside of me. ‘But the priest said he should…’. Then I pressed rewind in my mind… play…. “you MAY now kiss the bride”. Then it clicked!

How could I forget, even for a second, and in a wedding setting, that when the word MAY is used, it connotes an option, a choice, a discretion. Very different from “you MUST now kiss the bride”. This appears to be the version that 99.9% of men hear when that time comes. Did I mention how positively surprised and impressed we were at that wedding? Oh, I forgot to say that.

Have you ever wondered how the wedding tradition of kissing the bride came about? Ok, here’s what I found out…..

“The part that says ‘you may kiss the bride’ has a sort of mixed origin. First of all, it was assumed in ancient times that the bride and groom would not have previously exchanged a first kiss....so this kiss at their wedding ceremony would have been the first kiss. it was part of ancient folklore that a kiss between a bride and groom at the wedding ceremony would serve to exclude evil spirits from their relationship and that each of them would exchange a small part of themselves with one another during that first kiss...thus effectively locking out evil spirits from their marriage.”

Another source put it this way……

“The Wedding Kiss that seals the wedding is much more than a sign of affection. It has long been a token of bonding and the exchange of spirits as each partner sends a part of their self into the new spouse's soul, there to abide ever after.”

Let’s get something straight, that’s not me speaking, just sharing my findings…. So ladies and gentlemen,  I’ll leave you to decide what you do on your wedding day, but just know the priest will not say “you MUST now kiss your bride”.

So, you all have a lovely day…. And before I forget, don’t worry fellas, I am aware of the fact that anything I write can, and will be used against me on that day. BRING IT ON!!!! *winks*

@Emmysiasia on Twitter