TOAST A BOY! (part 1)

Hello friends and lovely people! How I know you all are lovely people? Hmmmm………*scratching my head* Uhm… As long as you are reading this blog right now, you are a lovely person, without prejudice to what you will do the minute after you are done. Ain’t that answer intelligent? Sure it is! I thought so too. Welcome. Interesting gist today, if you ask me.

 

Hmmmmmm…. Growing up for me was eventful. I’m sure yours was too. There were things you had very little or no choice in witnessing or being a part of. One of such things is the business of TOASTING! Gosh I love this word! But hey! I hope we all get what I mean by toasting? Call it “scoping” or “chyking” if you may. Whether you are a boy or a girl, you actually don’t have a choice in the matter. Either you are the ‘toaster’ or the ‘toastee’, ‘chyker’ or ‘chykee’. Now I’m laughing so hard at that coinage. Just forgive me, it’s the product of so many years of learning about similar coinages like ‘payer and payee’, ‘mortgagor and mortgagee’, the list goes on. Who knows, one day we can have ‘slapper and slappee’, and if I am a blogger, that will make you a bloggee.

During those good old days, we attended these lesson classes after school hours. Peeps from different schools attend too. Sure you get the picture? Good! That’s usually where one gets the first toasting lessons. The boys will waylay the girls and start giving a jittery sermon, while the girl uses her feet to draw lines on the floor, or use her hands to wreak havoc on any flower close by. Well, that is so so last century now. I seriously don’t see such a scenario playing out now. That’s my guess anyway, what do I know?

The point I’m trying so hard to make is, traditionally, or rather, from our first lessons in the toasting business, a guy sees a girl he likes, lies in wait for the appropriate time, and bam!. Then in those good old days, the boy does everything he could to win the heart of the girl. Among them is exhibiting expertise at letter writing.

Hahahahahhahah….. Now I’m laughing again! Why? Ok, I’ll tell you. Writing that kind of letter was actually my strongest suit then. I constructed so lovely letters that all my friends consulted me when they need to deliver a letter. I did not charge them for my “professional services” but it was usually a norm to ‘thank’ me with a plate of tapioca and chilled drink when they can afford it.

Basically, the responsibility of keeping this ‘sizzling romance’ alive rests with the guy. That’s why he takes painstaking effort to write, go out of his way to do something that makes her happy. So from the very beginning to wherever, it’s mostly about what the guy did and what he did not do. At the risk of repeating myself, that was last century.

Coming back to the present day, you will have to agree with me that much has not changed! Guy sees this girl he likes, he walks up to her, strikes up a conversation and eventually asks for a date. The guys are still doing the toasting in this century like they did in the last.

Likeness and love are emotions that both ladies and gents are capable of, unless there’s something wrong with the person, in which case I will recommend medical help. It’s so normal for a guy to see a pair of lovely Snickers and want to own them. It’s normal for a girl to see lovely handbags in a mall and really want them, see beautiful dresses in a show room and imagine it on their body. We all can see and like or love, simple.

 I use to wonder what happens when a girl sees a guy she fancies. Yeah, used to wonder, not any more cos I now know what happens. She pretends he does not exist, and hopes that somehow, with his magical powers he will know and come around to say hi. Or better still; declare 3 days fasting and prayer so God will touch his heart and make him see why he should want to be with her. I wonder if God bothers with that kind of prayer in our world today, where so many prayers are being said against Boko boys, economic and political upheavals bedeviling our dear country.

This is 21^st century when women are clamoring for more participation in the polity and the scheme of things. I am personally an advocate of women’s rights, but not only political rights. Social rights too; the right to toast a boy without fear of being negatively profiled.

See the unedited view of a friend of mine on the issue:

My dear, no matter how you see it or want to argue it, men dont respect women who approach them. Even you that is bringing the topic up. Moreso, when a girl does not play hard to get, she is never accorded respect. Infact, you are sure that relationship would end faster than it started because according to you guys, ''the babe no even difficult to get''.

I agree that some people will find it unusual and thus react by profiling such a girl as cheap and loose. That, to me, is paying too much attention to what people think. If you believe something is right, do you border about what people think? Honestly, wanting something and not being able to go for it is a feeling that will hold its own in the rank of worst feelings ever.

We will have to conclude this gist in TOAST A BOY! (part 2). If you think i was too hard on ladies, wait for the other side of me in part 2. Till then, ladies start warming up to toast a boy! Lovely weekend… *hugs*

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