Tuesday, 27 November 2012

WILLFUL REFUSAL TO CONSUMMATE...





My last post here was hmmmm maybe controversial. In fact, it did put me in 'trouble', what i have now learnt was a blessing in disguise. If you missed it, catch it here…But then, how could I quit on you all? Not with the amazing number of page views i see. Thanks guys! Would have said you guys are the “bestest” but I’m pretty sure that word is not yet in the English dictionary. But wait a sec! Who gives a shit about the English dictionary and following those rules? The level of ‘gbagaun’ we have to deal with daily is a colossal proof that here in naija, we just say things like we wanna, the way e dey enter our head na so we dey talk am. 



I was in court a couple of weeks back and something very unusual, at least to me, happened. A case was called up, and lo! It was a divorce case. Nah, that’s not the unusal thing. Basically, gone are the days when people who wanted divorce hide and get overly shy about the whole affair.  In those days, a man would simply send the woman packing, trying as much as possible not to alert the neighbours or make a scene. On the other hand, a woman who has had it up to here~ would just get her stuffs and bolt, most times with the kids, and while the husband was away at work, if he has one, or a road side beer parlour if that is his calling. That is now so so last decade! These days, from my experience, *winks*, Nigerians are so not in the mood to hide the fact that they are resiling from the vows they made before God and man. Its now so brazen and normal. Afterall, thats how it is in the States. We are really chasing America, especially in the negative things. More redbull to our elbow.



When that case was called up, it was the husband that petitioned for the divorce. He was not only present, but came out in all his glory. Now see the funny thing, this guy was such a young man! When I say young, I mean like late 20s, and he wants a divorce! When did he even get married? I can bet so many of his mates are still dressing like Wizkid and “forming swag”.



As we were trying to deal with the fact the young man before us wanted the court to put asunder what God has joined together, it was further revealed that the petition was filed just as soon as the wedding was over. Get the picture, this guy just escaped from his honeymoon to meet his lawyer to file that petition.
Don’t you just hate lawyers? Hehehehe…



I’m sure so many people will hypothesize and arrive at the theory that this ‘gentleman’ must have had a helluva reason to make such a fast and sleek move. As serious as the issue was in my mind that morning, I could not help but let out a small (had to be small) laughter when I heard his reason. His wife had willfully refused to consummate the marriage! I’m sure you already know what that means, but let me try to explain. A marriage is consummated when eh… eh… well, uhm ouch! It’ll just be easier to tell you that consummation is that thing that happens during honeymoon, but that will be grossly inadequate.



 Ordinarily, the word means to complete something perfectly. A marriage is consummated when a couple have sex for the first time AFTER their marriage. So to consummate a marriage means to make the union completely perfect by having sex. I don’t need to say that willful refusal to consummate a marriage is one of the grounds that can lead to a successful divorce petition, right? Ok.



Between you and me, I don’t think that guy is telling the whole truth though. In fact, he can challenge the devil to an Oscar nomination if there’s a category for best lie. It doesn’t make sense that a couple will take off for honeymoon and when it’s time to “do it” legally, somebody will say no, but then, what do I know?



Separation will never be a good thing. Now, I use to wonder, what happens when somebody discovers just immediately after tying the knots that he or she has made a grave mistake… should such a person head to the court house and ask for an asunder, or live with that mistake every second and every minute of their lives? I’d rather not say anything about that, but wait! Have you ever seen an Octogenarian couple who are still very much in love with each other? I have, and trust me, nothing is more beautiful!

Signing out~


@Emmysiasia on twitter…