FRIENDZONED PART 2

 FRIENDZONED part2

Hi Hi… hope your day was great…

Still on friend zone ish, you can still catch the first part HERE but before we wrap it up, don’t think that being in that zone with someone is completely and totally terrible. The real problem is being friendzoned by every love interest you have. That’s disaster, and means something is totally wrong somewhere. In the last piece, we looked at the meaning of, and how to know if you are in the friendzone.  Hopefully, by the time you get to the credits, you should discover why you always trespass, nay, fall, into that frustrating Nomansland and most importantly, how to take that elusive giant stride into a whole new world…*winks!

WHY FRIENDZONED?

We agree that the friendzone malady is not the exclusive preserve of guys, but we will proceed as if it is, so don’t get carried away, ok? 

How does a man get trapped in the friend zone? There are four main reasons.

Oh, sure, she finds you funny, charming and fun to be with -- but you just don’t rock her world, you don’t look like her Knight in Shining Armour. Short of a new hairstyle and wardrobe (or maybe reincarnation), there’s not a lot you can do about this, so don’t kid yourself. Sometimes it’s just the way it is -- you don’t want to hit the sheets with every woman you meet, do you?

 She's not attracted to you
she‘s just not into you, you have a choice to make: Either stay her friend and erase any idea of it getting sexual, or move on completely. Tough choice huh? Yeah, I think so too.

You're a doormat
It’s very possible she has relegated you to friend status because you’re way too nice, too accommodating and too ass-kissing. She knows she can have you just by snapping her fingers. You follow her around like a moon-eyed puppy dog. You try to impress her. You think you can buy her attention with, gifts, expensive meals and recharge cards; (after which they will flash you so you will call and receive their appreciation of the gesture. Strange world out there, ain’t it?)

You don't have the goods
Unfortunately, money talks for many people. If you don’t have it (or enough of it), odds are you’ll be dumped into the friend zone.

She's scarred
She’s had bad dating experiences, so now she can’t even begin to establish a normal relationship with a normal guy. These women sometimes aggressively flirt with a man, then react with horror when he comes on to her (“I thought we were friends”). The only male they can psychologically deal with is a nonsexual “friend.”

THAT GIANT STRIDE

Is there any way to escape the friend zone? It’s not easy, but not impossible.

Break the "nice guy" or "sweet girl" stereotype. Most guys and girls who find themselves in the "friend zone" are usually susceptible to many of the characteristics of the "nice guy" or "sweet girl" stereotype. This means pretty much someone who wants to avoid making other people uncomfortable at any cost, but does so usually at their own expense by not communicating their own needs. Where you're romantically attracted to someone, but you don't want to "pressure" them into a relationship, or "ruin" the friendship by expressing your interest or making a move, you'll end up holding back in a variety of ways. The trouble is, when you make other people's feelings more important than your own (instead of finding that happy balance), you're unconsciously communicating to people that your own feelings don't matter.

 Besides, who doesn’t know that girls don’t dig nice guys? They prefer the nuts cases. I’ve always wondered why, and then I heard one funny reason. Wait for it; this lady friend of mine told me that since Jesus Christ came for the sinners, and not the saved, girls do feel that they’d rather chill with bad asses, in the hope of winning them over! Wow! Prior to that time, I never understood why people stayed in physically abusive relationships. Now I know, to win over a soul, because you want to be like our Lord Jesus Christ! Well, good luck with that, I pray you don’t have a permanent black eye at best, or end up in a bag at worst. After all, the Son of Man gave His life. That’s an ish for another day joor…

Make yourself scarce
Stop acting like a puppy dog and don’t be so available. Don’t get together at the drop of a hat. Wait two or three days to return one phone call. Be a challenge, not a doormat.

Start dating other people.

In other words, make them jealous. If they have any interest in you at all, this will drive them crazy. Openly talk about other people you hang out with and for their advice.

Break the touch barrier.

For many people, a big distinction between "friendship" and "relationship" is the way they touch. There are platonic ways to touch someone, and romantic ways, and the boundary is different for different people. But if you're terrified of touching someone the wrong way, to the extent that you hesitate and never touch them first, your intentions may be good but your "touch paralysis" isn't helping you at all in the romantic department. Take a few little "touch risks". Reach for their hands, hair, shoulders, ankles, and back. Don't just always wait for them to do it first. If they don't like it, they'll definitely let you know. But touching someone communicates to them that you find them attractive, and also that you're reasonably confident. Both of these things can make someone feel more attracted to you.

If you eventually discover that you have successfully extricated yourself from the friend or family zone, and something good comes out of it, Ultimately leading to the alter, don’t forget my IV. If you do, I’ll come after you>>>>

@Emmysiasia on Twitter